


Highway to Hell

by Brumeier



Series: My Demon Lover [6]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Demons, Established Relationship, First Meetings, Going to Hell, Kidnapping, M/M, Semi-Public Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-23 21:19:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19159183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/pseuds/Brumeier
Summary: Rodney is still trying to figure out what being a Conduit to Heaven means when he gets hijacked by an old friend of John's and taken on a road trip he might not survive.





	Highway to Hell

_I'm on the highway to hell_  
_And I'm going down_  
_All the way_  
(AC/DC)

“Stop looking at me like that,” Rodney complained.

“Like what?” 

“Like I’m some kind of scientific anomaly you’re trying to make sense of.”

John raised an eyebrow. “Sorry?”

“Bad enough you dragged me outside when I have a perfectly good room to study in. You don’t have to treat me like some kind of weirdo, too.”

Rodney knew how he sounded, but he couldn’t help it. Finding out he was a Conduit between Heaven and Earth hadn’t really answered any questions for him or given him the first clue about what to do next. He could feel doom hanging over his head like the sword of Damocles and it was making him paranoid.

Plus, he really didn’t like being outside, where stinging bugs and solar radiation lived. The shade of the tree they were lounging under was hardly a deterrent to sun damage.

“Weirdo? That would be a pot and kettle situation,” John said. “You just aren’t appreciating everything the great outdoors has to offer.” 

He leaned over and kissed Rodney, in full view of everyone else out on the Quad enjoying the warm weather. And okay, that was kind of appealing. John was easily the hottest demon-posing-as-a-guy on campus, and Rodney liked people knowing they were together.

“I suppose it wouldn’t kill me to be a bit more appreciative,” Rodney agreed. He ran his hand over John’s stomach, rucking up his black t-shirt to show a strip of the skin that was underneath. “Maybe we should move this back inside.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t.”

John’s wings burst out and Rodney’s breath caught in his throat, just like it always did. And then the panic set in.

“Are you insane? They’ll see!”

“No, they won’t.” The big, gleaming black wings curled around them, feathers rustling in the light breeze, until it was like they were inside a cocoon. John blinked and his eyes turned to liquid tar. “See? No-one’s screaming.”

“How?” Rodney asked, even as John started working at getting him out of his pants.

“Can we put this under Special Demon Skills?” John nudged Rodney to lift his ass so the pants and underwear could be slipped off. Rodney complied without even thinking about it; he was too distracted by John’s heretofore unknown power of invisibility.

“No, we can’t. How…how…”

“Never mind how,” John murmured in Rodney’s ear. “Just enjoy it.”

“I suppose we could table this discussion for later.”

Rodney had never been an exhibitionist, and yet there he was bare-assed on the Quad with John manhandling his cock in the usual skillful way. It was a heady experience, feeling that they could be exposed at any moment.

John licked his way into Rodney’s mouth, his hand almost casually stroking Rodney’s cock like they had all the time in the world. What the hell did Rodney know? Maybe they did. Maybe they were in some kind of tiny pocket universe, separate from everyone and everything else around them, including the passage of time.

“Can they hear us?” Rodney asked, rolling his hips to try and get John to pick up the pace.

“Nope.”

“In that case, I assume you have lube.”

The slick fingers that started circling Rodney’s hole answered that question. And if no-one could hear them, he was free to be as loud as he wanted, which was good because getting fucked by John was worthy of a little vocal fanfare.

John’s sinuous tail wrapped around Rodney’s ankle, pushing his leg up and to the side, giving John better access. Somewhere along the line John had lost his pants, though Rodney couldn’t remember him shimmying out of them. He hated to miss a good shimmy.

Rodney hooked his other leg around John’s hip, running the heel of his foot up and down the crack of John’s ass. He grinned when the horns burst out of John’s forehead, which was a good sign of how turned on he was. In response, John slid two fingers in Rodney’s ass, making him gasp and arch his back at the intrusion.

“Fucking fuck,” Rodney panted. The burn was brief, the pleasure more lasting as he rode those fingers. He could feel the cool grass against his back, could hear the murmur of voices around him, but it was all a pleasant background to the hard press of lips against his lips, and the nudge of a finger against his prostate.

In return, Rodney caressed the ridges of John’s wings and slid his hands under John’s shirt to play with his nipples, the little nubs standing at stiff attention.

“You look so good like this,” John murmured. “I don’t care what you are. As long as you’re mine.”

Rodney surged up, one arm around John’s neck as he kissed him deep and dirty. With his free hand reached between them to give John’s cock a strong tug.

“If you want me, take me.”

John growled. He pushed Rodney back down, slicked up his cock, and rubbed the head of it over Rodney’s hole. 

“Gonna make you feel it.”

“You better.”

John’s tail uncoiled from Rodney’s ankle, and slowly moved up his body, wrapping briefly around his cock. As John started pressing himself inside Rodney, slowly stretching him, filling him, making him pant with want, the tail slid under Rodney’s shirt and over his chest.

By the time John was fully seated, his tail was wrapped around Rodney’s throat, the pressure noticeable but not uncomfortable.

“This okay?” John whispered raggedly in Rodney’s ear.

“Less talk. More move.”

John complied, setting up a rhythm that had Rodney grunting with every thrust. The tail tightened just a little with each rocking movement, and the forked end of it teased at Rodney’s mouth. That was new, but Rodney was always game to try new things with John. He sucked the end of John’s tail into his mouth, running his tongue between the fork, and John started babbling in a mix of Latin and English. 

“ _Faex_ , fuck, fuck,” John gasped. His hands gripped Rodney’s legs so tightly there’d be bruises there later, but Rodney didn’t care. He was close, so close, and watching John start to come apart was only heightening everything.

A ball of electric pleasure started to grow at the base of Rodney’s spine and his balls drew up. The next solid thrust against his prostate was enough to push him over, that pleasure ball exploding over his whole body, making even his toes tingle. Rodney closed his eyes, back curving as he spent himself, John’s tail sucked tight inside his mouth.

John made a rumbly, growling noise as he slammed into Rodney again and again, before reaching his own completion. Rodney could feel the hot come inside him and his cock gave one last valiant twitch.

The tail started to uncoil, but Rodney put his hand on it to keep it in place. He kind of liked the feel of it there, warm and muscular. The forked end slipped out of his mouth and caressed the shell of his ear.

“Wow,” John said, his breath hot on Rodney’s shoulder. “Not bad for a weirdo.”

Rodney ran his hand along the curve of John’s ass. “Maybe sex is my super power.”

That earned him a breathy laugh. “Well, you vanquished me.”

They kissed, and it was slow and sweet and made Rodney tingle in an entirely different way. And then the clock on Madigan Tower started to chime the hour.

“I have to go,” John said apologetically. They were sticky, which was gross, but they got dressed still under cover of John’s wings. “Meet you for dinner?”

“Five o’clock,” Rodney confirmed. He stole one more kiss before the wings vanished and life crowded back in.

After John left, Rodney gathered up his books and headed back to his room to clean up. And jerked off in the shower remembering what they’d done in the middle of the day, in the middle of the Quad.

He really was turning into a sex fiend.

*o*o*o*

Rodney had a light schedule for the rest of the day, but that just meant Dr. Simmons would fill the empty hours with more TA drudge work. He’d have to wait till dinner to find out if John had been able to learn anything more about the whole Conduit thing; he was making discreet inquiries somewhere in the supernatural underground, and they both agreed it would be safer if Rodney didn’t tag along.

He’d just dropped off testing booklets and was cutting back through the staff parking lot when someone called his name.

“Rodney? Hey, Rodney!”

A girl was flagging him down, and Rodney’s initial glance stopped him in his tracks because wow. She had a long fall of fiery red hair and curves in all the right places. She was leaning against a gleaming electric blue convertible decorated with subtle blue flame detail – Rodney wasn’t a car guy but even he could tell it was an old Mustang – and wearing denim short-shorts and a blue gingham cropped tank top. The Daisy Duke vibe was really strong.

“You’re Rodney, right? Johnny’s friend?” She pushed herself up off the car and crossed the space between them. “I’m Laura. Pleased to meet you.”

The girl held out her hand and reaching for it was such an ingrained response that Rodney did it without even thinking. Only when it was too late did he have second thoughts.

Laura’s grip was strong, and her grin was wide, and when Rodney’s wrist began to burn he realized his mistake.

“Ow! Let go!”

“ _Religo_ ,” Laura said. 

Rodney tried to pull away, but she was too strong. It felt like his whole hand was on fire and he was afraid to look, certain his skin was blackening and peeling away, the pain of it was overwhelming, and he was sure he was going to pass out, but then Laura released his hand and all the pain went away.

“What did you do?” Rodney said, heart still pounding. He looked at his wrist, which was unharmed. Not unmarked, though. There was a dark brown band wrapping completely around his wrist, an intricate lacy design that looked like a tattoo.

“You and I are taking a road trip. Hop on in.”

Laura got behind the wheel of the Mustang and turned it on, revving the engine. Rodney didn’t know where she thought they were going, but he was not getting in that car. He was going right to his room to call John and get him to come back as soon as fucking possible to explain what had just happened.

Rodney got two steps and physically couldn’t take one more, no matter how hard he tried. His legs were locked at the knee. 

“Oh, did I forget to mention? You’re tethered to me. Think of it like metaphysical handcuffs. Now get in.”

“You can’t just kidnap me!” Rodney protested. He could feel a panic attack building. Facing down John’s father had been one thing, because it had happened in the middle of campus with a lot of people around. Getting hijacked in an empty parking lot? Who would know? He pulled out his cell phone, only to find the battery was completely dead. _Fuck_.

Laura draped herself over the driver’s side door. “Rodney. _Incedo_.”

Rodney turned jerkily and walked towards the Mustang, fighting it all the way. It was the most terrifying thing that had ever happened to him and by the time he slid into the passenger seat of the convertible he was hyperventilating. Laura patted him on the leg.

“Deep breaths, dude. Remember, half the fun is getting there.”

“Where?” Rodney wheezed.

“Johnny’s granddad wants to meet you. Buckle up. We’re going to Hell.”

*o*o*o*

Rodney spent most of the drive out of town and up into the hills breathing into a paper bag that Laura had conveniently pulled out of the glove box. While she rocked out to what he called ‘angry girl music’, Rodney panicked. He was essentially a prisoner and, while he didn’t know what kind of creature Laura was, John’s grandfather had to be some sort of high-level demon. And John had no idea what was going on.

“Why couldn’t he just come here, like John’s father did?” Rodney asked, voice muffled by the bag.

“He doesn’t like straying too far from home,” Laura replied. Her hair was streaming in the wind. “You might want to close your eyes for this next part.”

“What? Why?” 

“We’re coming up on Devil’s Drop.”

Rodney didn’t have much occasion to travel that particular stretch of road, but he’d heard of Devil’s Drop. It was a sharp curve on a steep hill, infamous for a number of fatal car accidents. He dropped the paper bag and grabbed hold of the jutting dashboard since the old Mustang didn’t have a proper oh-shit handle.

Instead of slowing down for the upcoming curve, Laura stepped on the gas and the car leapt forward.

“What are you doing? Slow down!”

“No can do. Hang on!”

To Rodney’s horror they were headed straight for the metal guardrail and the deadly drop on the other side. Did he literally have to die to get to Hell? He hadn’t even considered that!

“No, no, no!” he shouted, and then closed his eyes as the tires left the pavement and hit the shoulder.

“Woo hoo!” Laura yelled.

Rodney waited for the collision with the guardrail, waited for the sensation of falling that would probably be the last thing he ever felt. Neither happened. The Mustang just continued zipping along and he cautiously opened his eyes.

They were on a different road, but still on a road. The landscape was vastly changed, though. The sky was a dusky red and vaguely smoky, and every bit of greenery they flew past looked blackened and dead. The sun – if it was a sun – was a low smudge of orange on the horizon.

“Sorry for the dramatics, but this is the only way for a living human to make the journey,” Laura explained. “Welcome to Hell!”

Rodney was still trying to come to grips with the fact that he wasn’t dead, although he was a little distracted by the fact that Laura’s hair seemed to be smoldering.

“Uh…are you on fire?”

Laura turned to look at him, and her eyes were glowing as red as her hair. “Sure am.”

Rodney quickly turned back to the landscape, disconcerted. Off in the distance on his side of the road he was certain he saw an active volcano. That didn’t make him feel any better.

He thought about John growing up there, where everything was dark and deadly. How had John turned out so kind and gentle?

“Everyone’s really curious about you,” Laura said, one arm resting on the driver’s side door. “Johnny falling for a human was a big surprise.”

“No-one is more surprised than me, I can assure you.”

“And you don’t mind it? His demon face?” 

“Obviously.” There was nothing Rodney didn’t like about John. Human and demon were two sides of the same sexy coin, and sometimes Rodney found John’s demon face oddly comforting. He knew he’d feel a whole lot better about the road trip if John was there with him.

“Have you known John a long time?” Rodney asked Laura. He was starting to get used to her red smolder.

“We grew up together. He’s always been different.”

“Different how?”

Laura shrugged. “Soft. Not driven the way his father is. Johnny was born to be a future Prince of Hell, but he doesn’t want it. He’s not really suited to it, to be honest.”

Rodney snorted. “Someone should tell his father. What does his grandfather say about all this?”

“Uncle Lu? He and Johnny are thick as thieves, always have been. That’s why he wants to meet you.”

Rodney was starting to get a very bad feeling, on top of all the other bad feelings he was full of. “Lu? As in…?”

Laura grinned at him. “Lucifer. Duh.”

Rodney frantically felt around for the paper bag. He was gonna need it.

*o*o*o*

The landscape changed more than Rodney expected the farther down the road they traveled. There were more volcanoes, but also snow-capped mountains. (There was a joke about snowballs in there somewhere.) He saw small towns, giant swarms of crows, and shifty-looking dog things Laura said were jackals.

At one point there were several children standing by the side of the road, waving furiously and calling out to Laura, and it was an oddly normal thing despite the fact that the children had wings and horns.

It felt like they’d been driving for hours when Laura pointed out a dark shape on the horizon.

“There it is. The Dark City.”

Rodney leaned forward, squinting, trying to make out details, but it was just a shadowy blob. His earlier panic, which had bled away over the passage of time and kilometers, roared back to life now that the (hopefully not) final destination was in view. The literal devil was waiting for him there. It was almost too much to wrap his not-inconsiderable intellect around.

“Uh oh,” Laura said. She adjusted the rearview mirror. “We’ve got company.”

“What? Who?” Rodney twisted in his seat, trying to see. If it was worrying a denizen of Hell, it had to be bad.

“Your angry boyfriend.” 

Rodney didn’t think the Mustang could be pushed any faster, but he was wrong. He swore he could feel the G forces as the car shot forward. He probably imagined the roar from the engine that sounded like some kind of huge beast. Probably. He absolutely didn’t imagine when the smolder in Laura’s red hair burst into actual flame. Rodney let out a yelp and crowded against the door.

“Catch us if you can!” Laura shouted, laughing at the same time.

In the side mirror Rodney could see something moving through the sky behind them. It looked like a bird or a bat, until it got closer and he could see it was a demon. _His_ demon.

“Wow,” he said. 

Rodney had never seen John use his wings to actually fly. He looked fierce and powerful, and he was totally gaining on Laura’s supernaturally fast Mustang.

It was another three kilometers before John overtook them, his shadow passing swiftly over the inside of the car. Given the speeds they were traveling and John’s distance above the Mustang, Rodney hadn’t been able to get a really good look at him. But when John dropped down on the road in front of them, almost kneeling with one hand out to brace himself, Rodney forgot to breathe.

He’d seen John in his demon face before. Had seen the backlit fire in his tar-black eyes that time he’d been pissed at his father. But this…this was new. More intense. This was John somehow bigger and bulkier, his skin darkened to a dusky hue, black flames dancing in his black eyes, horns bigger and slightly curved.

It was an incredibly inappropriate time for Rodney to get a hard-on.

The car squealed to a halt mere centimeters from John, who glared angrily at Laura. She glared right back, her hair living flame and her eyes burning red, but still looking mostly human.

“Get out of the car, Rodney.” John’s voice was different as well, deeper and powerful. Rodney already had his hand wrapped around the handle.

“ _Conmoror_ ,” Laura said, and once again Rodney found himself unable to move. “We’re tethered, Johnny. You’re welcome to join, but he has an appointment and I have to make sure he keeps it.”

“My father put you up to this? You know he doesn’t –”

“Uncle Lu wants to see him.”

“It was an accident!” Rodney blurted out. “I didn’t mean to get tethered, I really didn’t, and this woman drives like a crazed NASCAR driver, which hasn’t been at all fun, I can assure you. Please don’t make me meet your grandfather.”

John changed, his super-charged demon persona melting away until the demon face Rodney was more familiar with had taken its place. The black jeans must’ve been super stretchy to accommodate both sizes.

“It’s okay, Rodney. Granddad won’t hurt you.”

“You’ll excuse me if I don’t share your confidence.”

John came around to Rodney’s side of the car and kissed him, clawed hands gently cradling his face.

“I’ll be with you the whole time,” John murmured against Rodney’s lips. “Just don’t say anything about the _thing_.”

Rodney huffed out a nervous laugh. “I’m not an idiot, you know.” He unashamedly clung to John, relieved beyond words that he was there.

“Ugh, get a room,” Laura complained. “In or out, Johnny. We have to go.”

John jumped into the backseat, black wings folded tight against his back. He kept both hands on Rodney’s shoulders, a welcome, comforting weight.

Laura stomped on the gas and the Mustang shot forward, the Dark City looming ever closer. Rodney was still afraid, but it helped having John there.

“Nice to have you back,” Laura said over her shoulder. The flames in her hair had died down and she was back to smoldering.

“You know I’m still going to kick your ass for this,” John said pleasantly.

“Better demons than you have tried.”

“Ungrateful succubus.”

Rodney glanced over at Laura, startled. “Succubus? Is that what you are?”

Laura turned to him and licked her lips. “You wish you were that lucky.”

“Just drive,” John said, sounding exasperated. “I have an exam I need to get back for.”

“Nerd,” Laura said.

“You wish you were that smart,” Rodney said to Laura.

John’s honking laugh trailed after them as they made their way steadily forward.

*o*o*o*

The heavenly city of shining spires Rodney had seen in his vision was like the photo negative of the Dark City, which was beautiful in a completely different way. It seemed like the entire city was carved from obsidian, black and gleaming, absorbing the light from the fiery, lava-filled moat that surrounded it.

As they crossed a tall, arching bridge over the lava, Rodney could see other demons flying around, and large bats hanging from the many balconies. It was like driving into Manhattan, towers and spires looming on either side like Neolithic skyscrapers. There were a few other cars on the road, all of them sleek sports cars, and many more motorcycles.

Everyone waved at Laura as they sped by.

“What are you, some kind of celebrity?” Rodney asked.

“They like to stay on Uncle Lu’s good side,” Laura replied. “I put the wrong word in his ear, things could take a turn for someone.”

She drove into the heart of the city, where the tallest structure vanished upwards in a haze of smoke. There was an underground garage of sorts, filled with an array of cars that gleamed and glistened under the lights. Lamborghini, Ferrari, Bugatti, Aston Martin…Rodney took note of the hood ornaments and the names in gleaming chrome.

“He’s here,” John said when Laura parked the Mustang. “Remove the tether.”

“So you can whisk him away and make me look like an idiot? Pass.”

“It’s okay, John,” Rodney said. “I don’t want to make any trouble. For either of us.”

John didn’t look happy, but he took Rodney’s hand in his and they followed Laura to what Rodney assumed was an elevator but turned out to be some sort of transporter instead. He almost had to be carried out because he wanted to see how the thing worked, wanted to know the tech involved. 

“But –”

“Not the time,” John said, a hint of a smile on his face.

Rodney wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting from inside the Dark City, where Lucifer himself lived, but he certainly hadn’t thought it would be so…corporate. High-end, almost bordello-like corporate, but still. The main hall had black slate floors and textured wallpaper in a deep shade of red. Flickering wall sconces offered the only illumination, since the windows only let in a red glow from the lava.

“Friends of yours?” Rodney whispered as they passed huge oil paintings of various demons.

“Nope,” John replied. If Rodney didn’t know better, he’d think his demon boyfriend was nervous. Which didn’t do anything for his own nerves.

At the end of the hall was an oversized double-door, easily four and a half meters tall, if not more. Beyond that was an outer office, outfitted in plush red carpeting and ornate gilded furniture. There was another set of massive doors behind an intricately carved desk.

“Johnny!” the thing behind the desk growled, teeth gnashing. Rodney immediately averted his gaze, gorge rising. 

“Hey, Nan.” John gave Rodney’s hand a squeeze before letting go. In his periphery vision he could see John approaching the monstrosity and…and…kissing it? “Nice to see you.”

“He’s waiting for you.”

The big doors swung open and Rodney kept his gaze off the creature at the desk as they passed by and walked into Lucifer’s inner sanctum.

“Holy crap,” Rodney breathed. 

It was impossible to take in the rest of the room when the devil himself filled it. He towered over the three of them, a massive beast with pitted skin the color of red brick, giant cloven hooves for feet, and obsidian horns that curved like a ram’s.

“I brought him as requested, Uncle Lu,” Laura said. She hopped up to sit on the giant slab of black marble that served as a desk, legs dangling.

Lucifer opened his mouth but the sounds that came out were unintelligible to Rodney.

“You say the sweetest things,” Laura replied with a girlish giggle.

“Think you can tone it down, Grandad?” John asked.

Lucifer let out another grumbling, growling, nails-on-a-blackboard sound and then he began to shrink in front of Rodney’s eyes. In the time it took to blink, he’d transformed into a handsome older gentleman in a black suit, his features like John’s and his dark hair tastefully gray at the temples. Apart from the gleaming black eyes, he looked like someone’s actual grandfather.

“Johnny, my boy. Welcome home!” John and his grandfather embraced, and at the end of it John looked completely human as well. “You look good.”

“So do you. Now you wanna tell me why you had your lapdog kidnap my boyfriend?”

“Woof!” Laura barked, laughing.

“Your father came to me in a fury,” Lucifer said. He walked around behind his desk and opened a wooden box, pulling out a cigar. “I was curious to see the human who could get him worked up as much as you do.”

He clipped the end off the cigar and blew on it, setting it alight.

“Then may I present Rodney McKay, genius and fine-assed human.” John held his hand out and Rodney took it, allowing himself to be brought forward. “I’m keeping him.”

“I’m not a stray dog,” Rodney snapped. “You’ll excuse me if I don’t shake your hand. That didn’t work out great for me last time.”

He held up his hand to show the mark Laura had put there.

“Spunky. I like that.” Lucifer grinned. “You may untether him.”

“ _Ego dimittere te_ ,” Laura said obligingly. 

Rodney sucked in a breath as his wrist flared with pain, which was thankfully much shorter lived than last time. The mark was gone.

“Can we go now?” Rodney implored John.

“Nonsense,” Lucifer said with a grin. “I have prepared a feast in honor of my grandson’s return. Shall we?”

*o*o*o*

Lucifer’s private dining room was adjacent to a surprisingly utilitarian cafeteria with a food line and self-serve beverage center. Rodney tried not to look at the food on offer, but the writhing tentacles were hard to ignore.

The dining room was much more richly appointed, what Rodney assumed ultra-fancy restaurants were like, the ones you had to make reservations for months in advance: red drapery everywhere, lots of gold and black marble and slightly grotesque statuary. The table was set for three.

“This isn’t some kind of trick, is it?” Rodney whispered to John. “I don’t want to be caught up in a Persephone situation here.”

Was it a faery thing, too? Eating food and getting stuck on the wrong side of reality? Rodney wasn’t sure. Greek myth was one thing – it was tied inexorably with astronomy – but he wasn’t really into fairy tales.

“No pomegranates,” John said with a grin. “Promise. We’re both leaving here together, okay?”

Rodney trusted John, sure, but could John trust his grandfather? How much did they want him back home?

“Since my grandson sees fit not to communicate with me, I’ve had to guess on what food you might like,” Lucifer said once they seated themselves around the table. 

He snapped his fingers and demon waiters came through the door with trays balanced on clawed hands. Rodney had never seen anything quite so surreal in his life.

“I had them fix your favorite, Johnny,” Lucifer said as plates were uncovered and set before them.

John’s favorite seemed to be a hunk of some sort of meat that looked charred on the outside and utterly raw on the inside, the meat purplish-red. It was accompanied by some sort of pungent greenish-brown slime and an oversized egg still in the shell.

“This looks great!” John enthused, assuming his demon face.

Lucifer did likewise, and Rodney awaited his own plate with trepidation. What would the Devil consider an appropriate meal for a human?

Answer? A cheeseburger with a side of oddly shaped French fries that were entirely the wrong color. Rodney didn’t dare ask what kind of meat was inside the burger. Giant bat? Hell cow?

“What’s with the purple fries?” Rodney asked, poking at them.

“Our version of the potato,” John explained. “They’re good.”

Despite his worries about eating food in Hell and getting stuck there, the burger actually smelled pretty good and Rodney’s stomach was growling. He took a tentative bite and, when it tasted surprisingly delicious, attacked his dinner with fervor. He was hungrier than he’d thought; how long had that drive taken?

“I knew I made a good choice,” Lucifer said. “Would you like to try some of mine?”

He held out his egg, which had been cracked to show some unborn thing curled up inside it.

Rodney quickly looked back down at his own plate. “No. Thanks.”

While he ate, John and Lucifer had a very human conversation about how John was doing at school, and how things had been going in Hell during his absence. It was a very familial discussion between two men who were eating raw meat and sporting horns.

“And what is it you do?” Lucifer asked, turning his attention on Rodney.

Rodney explained that he was already in grad school, going for his first PhD in aeronautical engineering. He didn’t offer up any personal details about his family, or where he was from.

“Now tell me about the marks.”

Rodney exchanged a look with John, who looked confused. “What marks?”

“You’ve been touched by Grace,” Lucifer said. “I can see the marks of it on your face.”

_The angel stepped into Rodney’s personal space and cupped Rodney’s head. His hands were warm. Dimples caught Rodney’s gaze and held it, and wow. His eyes were like embers burning so hot they were blue. Rodney felt himself being drawn in, his stomach lurching as if he were physically falling._

Instant panic. If Lucifer could tell Rodney had literally been touched by an angel, would he be able to guess the rest? There was no telling what would happen if Hell gained control of a Conduit to Heaven.

“He was worried about my immortal soul,” Rodney said, hoping it sounded like the truth that it was.

Lucifer studied him, and Rodney swore he could feel the weight and heat of the Devil’s gaze. “I’m not opposed to a bit of healthy rebellion, Johnny. But even I won’t be able to help if you get pulled in too deep.”

“Understood,” John said. He reached for Rodney’s hand under the table. “About my father –”

“He won’t be your biggest concern. If the man upstairs has taken an interest in your young man, you have a Host of problems ready to descend on you.”

Rodney’s stomach clenched and he hoped he wasn’t about to lose his lunch. The Devil was more concerned about problems from Heaven? That wasn’t good. Angels were supposed to be the good guys, but Rodney had the sneaking suspicion that nothing about Heaven or Hell strictly adhered to the general perception of either place.

“If you get in a bind, call this number.” Lucifer rattled off the digits and John nodded, only having needed to hear them once to memorize them. He was a gift to mathematics. “He’s very discreet.”

“Thanks, Grandad.”

“I think it’s time you boys headed topside. Unless you want dessert first. Rodney? My chef makes a wonderful flaming souffle.”

Sometimes the absurdity of Rodney’s life was overwhelming.

**Author's Note:**

>  **AN:** I don’t know what happened. I was thinking about this ‘verse and then I heard the song, and suddenly I had a fully-formed fic idea in my brain. As promised, I made sure sexytimes were back in this installment. ::grins::
> 
> All Latin words courtesy of Google, so if there are errors that's why. I am not good with languages. LOL!


End file.
